From the dark depths of the back blocks of Hove... Nay, Simon 'H. R. Giger' Fox's backyard
of frosty ill-conceived thoughts...
Stands the awful ribby multi-limbed ice-debutante!
(Scares the cat)
Currently slimming in the sleet, no hair, no feet, soon to melt like the wicked Dahlegian* witch of the West (Hove). Let your icicled groaning loin rent forth the snowball drones to wreak torment on the poor yard-bound one called 'Marley'!**
* The witches in 'Witches' by Roald Dahl had no hair. A wig for our snow beauty, you ask?
** Cat, you have been warned. Play up again, and this gruesome five foot chill-mannequin will be gouged into an unrelenting barrage of pitiless snowballs aimed at your scurrying hindquarters.