Mystery shovel woman gets planes back on track

Bemused security staff at snow-laden Heathrow airport today apprehended an Australian female attempting to enter the departure area hiding a garden shovel on her person. Boarding staff watched as she pried open a runway-access door with the shovel and then proceeded to clear the entire runway of snow.

'I've never really seen anything like it', Heathrow luggage handler Rod Gelber, 68, said. 'There must be four inches covering the 3/4 square mile of runway tarmac, she really must have wanted to go home!'

Word from fellow travellers was that she 'was grumbling something about really wanting an Iced Coffee.. Someone said she was from the Farmer's Union or something. I don't really know. I'm just happy that my plane is taking off.'

West Sussex County has unsuccessfully tried to contact the woman, stating that they 'want to offer her a job plowing snow off of the A27'.