Monday, September 15, 2008
The Bulldogs burst out of the blocks in the first quarter, piling on five goals to Bright's one.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Heading the team of some world-class skeptic journalists is Professor Jon Stewart.
'We have been closely observing the behaviour of GOPtrons, the small elements present in all quasi-journalistic right-wing TV 'reports'. The strongest sources of these GOPtrons are Karlrovium and Billoreilline. Other sources on the far-right of the periodic table are Michellemalkinium, and Anncoulterium, although those last two are very toxic and should only be approached with the proper protective clothing.'
Professor Stewart says 'As we see it, all particles that spew from the mouth of these sources possess a large amount of spin. Usually to the right. However, in large magneto-political fields created by the family of Sarah Palin, they sometimes perform a complete 180-degree flip.. Curious, indeed.'
Professor Jon Stewart has managed to observe one GOPtron to spin to the right, while simultaneously observing another opposing GOPtron to very closely spin to the left.
'Bringing these GOPtrons into contact with one another, hopefully, will destroy the world as the Republican party knows it. We hope to bring these two sources close together with our Large Hadron Collider, possibly by interviewing Falafel Bill on the Colbert Report, sometime close to the November election. We will ask him to explain himself and see what happens. Heehee hee!'
If what he and his team predict is true, Bill O'Reilly will collapse into a quivering, stuttering plasma and shrink into a tiny ball of light. Then disappear into nothingness with a little 'thwip' sound. All that will be left from this collapse will be a falafel on the seat where Bill used to be.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
'You hear that, people? He was referring to my woman Vice-president!! you hear him say lip-stick?! He means you, Sarah!! God-damn, Balmer!'
Which get me to Hutton's quote (I can't find it) where some Kraut comes to Britain and says 'und ze women.. Mein Gott! I have seen prettier faces at the Arschdorf Pig Fair!'
'Now, listen here, Fritz..'
The thing is, you can put lipstick on a fox, BUT IT'S STILL LIPSTICK!!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
The small town at the foot of the Victorian Alps was dealt a new blow this week with news of 31 lay-offs at the town's biggest employer, the Myrtleford Mill.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
We had to confiscate his shovels. We know it's a cry for help that he keeps digging up the back yard, but to see him in a bobcat? Jesus!
Friday, September 5, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Rock-a-bye extremely young individual entering the first period of existence upon an arboreal promontory.
When the foreboding air currents accumulate with significant force the framework in which you repose will undergo a series of motions impossible to foretell that might -- one hastens underscore -- lead to the eventually deleterious consequences amidst the appendages of the arboreal entity, resulting in a rapid and potentially hazardous downturn for you, said extremely young human individual, and your non-proprietary possession in the form of the aforementioned framework for repose.