Thursday, October 14, 2010

to Poe or not to Poe?

Real or fake?

Feminists today are deeply concerned that not one single woman will get the chance to gain instant celebrity status after being stuck in a collapsed mine for 69 days. And getting paid danger money only to be stuck half a mile underground obviously has a detrimental effect on the gender wage gap. Cue outrage BLARG PATRIARCHY BLEAGH.

No evidence was found that women were discouraged from applying for mining jobs. When asked if the fact that no women were risking their lives down the mine shaft to earn money to provide for their families was perhaps due to women being more risk-averse in their career choices, Labour Minister Harriett Harman* dodged the question by replying** 'Well, I'm not risk averse. I took a chance at being made to look like an idiot for losing the leadership challenge to Ed Milliband. Also I wore a stab vest around my own constituency while in the company of a male police officer. Did you know that male police officers are much more likely to die in the line of duty than female police officers? I wasn't averting any risk there'.

'As Hillary Clinton said that it is women who suffer the most in war, and the women in the lifeboats of the Titanic who had to suffer the awful fate of watching the boat sink, so too it was the wives of the miners who suffered the most here. Don't let the man-stream media tell you otherwise'.

*incredible waster of Question Time. Spends ten minutes goading Cameron for not signing some protocol that hasn't even been written yet. She likes the title of the protocol, though.

In a parallel universe, 33 Chilean female miners stuck underground are chided for encouraging unrealistic 'one teaspoon of canned tuna and one sip of milk every 48 hours' weight-loss regime. 'This sends the wrong message (written on a piece of paper sent up a 3-inch diameter pipe) to our young women'.

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