In a darkened room above the White Horse Tavern, some of Oxford's greatest minds meet to discuss (among other things) the new staff arrangements at Royal Orthopaedic Hospital. The figures lounge in large - backed leather Chesterfield armchairs, their faces obscure in the dappled candle light. Brandy and cigars are passed around. One man asks-
'I trust that there are no problems with the new employees, James?'
'No, none at all. They are splendid workers, in fact. One of the radiographers performed a remarkable feat yesterday. Judet views without referring to the book!.
This information reached the ears of one gentleman who had just taken quite a large gulp of brandy. In his surprise that a radiographer could be so competent, through pursed lips his face involuntarily sprayed out the mouthful of alcohol. Unfortunately the lit cigar in his hand ignited the plume of droplets. The brief but angry burst of flame instantly deprived his colleague opposite of the few remaining hairs on his head, and left a dark rosette on the plaster above. In accordance with Newton's third law of motion, the fire-breather's armchair shot backwards, dislodging a few trophy animal heads as it hit the wall.
Downstairs, little flecks of plaster snowed down into the pint glasses of the drinkers at the bar.
-apologies to Terry Pratchett-
Also, my housemate has a Liverpool FC calendar in the kitchen. I turned over to April, which has a big picture of Torres on it. I put the calendar back on the wall but it immediately fell down. I tried to put it up again, but it just fell down again, curled, and rolled on the floor.